In 1911, America was going through a new wave known as "Progressivism" which would help paint the way for Progressive Rock Band:Rush. Now a corner stone of Progressivism is "The Jungle" known for helping form the USDA, however one thing that is not focused on is a quaint fire in New York city. Long have the voices of these young women not represented...That all changes today...I present to you...
The Triangle Shirtwaist Factory Fire
Mindy: So uh...the door's locked...
Suzie Q.: Yes?
Mindy: The Door's like...fucking locked
Suzie: Can we please limit the amount of Anachronisms in this script?
Mindy: Fine, if your going to be a bitch, ill fucking go there. “I dare say m'lovley, that the door is of the utmost frame and is in fact bolted, we might be in a bit of a precocious firehazard”.
Suzie:Why are you Disrespecting me?
Mindy: I dont know, because you broke the much coveted 4th wall.
Suzie: The 4th Wall eh?
Mindy:...
Suzie: Well what the hell is the 4th wall? Just go back to sowing or whatever it is we do with Textiles
Mindy: We are Seamstresses...SEAMSTRESSES
Suzie:No need to yell
Narrator:Well actually Suzie, you would need to yell due to the fact that its the early 20th century and the equipment was rather loud...
Suzie:Who the hell...
Mindy: Dont mind him...he's Albanian
Suzie: Oh god, I read about them once
Mindy: Really? When...
Suzie: Well this Upton Sinclair fella wrote this rather brutal book attacking the meat packing industry and in the book were some despicable Albanians.
Lorry: I was Raped by an Albanian!
Mindy: Where the hell did you come from?
Lorry: Oh I climbed up through the window, door was locked...what bullshit is that
Mindy: You should now the policy, 5 min late and you get stuck outside, now what were you saying about Albanians?
Suzie:Im sorry...wut?
Mindy: Albanians...Does someone need a cunt Punch?
Narrator:MINDY, MINUS FIVE POINTS FOR AN ANACHRONISM!
Mindy:Shit...
Narrator: Dont Make me Start smoking...
Lorry:I Thought you were Omnipotent
Narrator:Even gods need the warm rich aroma that comes from “Uncle Jacks Old Tyme Tabacco Sticks”
Suzie:....pussy
Narrator: What you say bitch?
Suzie: well...they have Filters
Narrator: ~Taking a drag~ you know what...~flicks cig onto fabric~ eat it...
Lorry: Well this sucks...
Mindy: You know...we could just climb out the window...Lorry did it
Lorry:Yeah...but im one of those “Urban Climbers”
Suzie: You know what, fuck this...i am so sick of all these god damn Anachronisms, its just getting Sickening ~Jumps out Window~
Mindy: Wow I had no idea the window was open
Lorry:Yeah...thats what we in “the biz” call a plot device
Mindy:she really was a bitch
Lorry:Yeah...she really was
Mindy:So uh, think anyone will care if we get burnt to a crisp?
Lorry: I think we will for ever alter the face of the workers rights movement and do more then any union could ever do. In fact I think we will even get some form of Plaque...maybe this building will go on to be incorporated to some form of University...Chemistry even.
Mindy:Yeah...or else we will just form some Socialists Bully Pulpit
Lorry:I think thats more likely honestly.
Mindy:So uh...did we even do any sowing/sewing/shirtwasting
Lorry:I...i think we did
Mindy:Oh...
Lorry:I think he's trying to write him self out of a corner
Mindy:He?
Lorry: well you know...Zombie Jesus
Mindy:Oh him
~Machine Explodes~
Mindy: Oh god the OVARIES!!
Lorry: well this sucks ~Jumps~
Narrator:And so, ends the worst industrial disaster in United States History, you may be striving for some deeper meaning or asking your self “Why?!”, simply put...god hates Women and he created cigarettes and door locks as a way of punishing them for there sin, Thanks for reading...g'night.
Moved to tears? I know i was, and now you can share the love with you where ever you go...yes thats right, This play is now in an AUDIO FORMAT! (Gasp!)
http://www.mediafire.com/?afeh3zmsl4z
Share the wonder...share the joy.
